Don't mess with the Genie

By Wolphin. Greetings all. After thinking about my first chat session a few days ago, this story just seemed to pop into my head, down my arms and into my fingers so here it is.

It all started to come together on Tuesday when the man came to 
install my second phone line.  Then on Thursday I picked up a 
modem and Friday I visited my local ISP and got an account.  After 
wrestling with windows for a while, I finally got connected.  

Naturally, for the next couple of hours all hell broke loose as I 
ran around the net like a madman looking for all the latest bits 
of software.  Eventually, I found the most useful thing to be was 
a CD off a magazine I had bought earlier.  It had almost 
everything I needed to get started.

Well, first off was this thing called FurryMuck.  I logged on 
there for a while and wandered around.  I seemed to spend an 
inordinate amount of time in a pond for some reason, but I liked 
it and I'm now signed up.  

Next off was a trip to the TSA chat channel.  Naturally, there are 
no Undernet servers in Australia, so I was just picking them off 
the list.  Eventually, I gave up, sent a SOS to the TSA list and 
went to bed.  The next day there were several replies (thanks 
everyone) and finally I managed to get on.

It was a bit of a shock to finally meet in person (so to speak) 
the people who had previously been just an email address.  Anyway, 
I hung around there for a bit, wondering exactly how Pascal had 
managed to become chocolate before leaving.

Later that day, I returned.  There was only Genie and myself 
online, so I spent some time terrorising Genie, finding out 
exactly what made her tick.  I'm not saying I found them all, but 
I certainly found some of the things which can trigger her.  As a 
word of warning to young players.  Don't do your Elmer Fudd 
impression and don't wish to be a red dragon - it can lead to 
some, shall we say, unexpected, consequences.

After a while, I began to cycle through Genie's wish list.  I 
started with the normal things, horse, lion, dragon, wolf, you get 
the idea.  Then I moved on to the more ridiculous.  When I looked 
back over the log, I should have seen it coming.  Genie is 
normally fairly neutral, granting wishes without too much comment, 
but as my wishes became more and more ridiculous her comments 

They moved from "Wolphin is now a ..." to "Genie begins to get 
tired of the troublesome human..."  Then, I made a major mistake.  
In a fit of silliness, (not hard to come by on the net) I typed 
"Genie, I wish I was an inanimate object."  To which Genie replied 
"You got it."

I reached for the keyboard to continue typing, but found my hand 
didn't move properly.  I looked down at it and saw it literally 
melt before my eyes.  Then I noticed my legs were dissolving into 
a puddle on the floor.  My arms and torso soon joined them.  I 
felt my neck and head liquefy and they soon joined the mound that 
had been me, in front of the computer.

I'd like to explain to you all, exactly what it was like, but 
there isn't much to explain.  I was an inanimate object.  Sort of 
pyramid shaped, but rough on the sides.  I couldn't see of hear, 
but I was aware of what was going on around me.  

"Great," I thought.  "How long does this last."

Luckily, pretty soon someone else logged on and Genie, in a fit of 
compassion typed "Wolphin returns to normal."  I know this because 
it was the first thing my eyes saw as they reformed.  

I looked at my body in amazement as my arms for of rose up out of 
the goo and everything moved to their correct positions.  Then, I 
just sat there for a moment, before typing "Thanks Genie!" and 
logging off.

Since then I have learnt from others the perils of late night 
chatting and mucking.  I have also learnt to b kind to your 
resident Genie, because she is a force to be reckoned with.  Some 
may say I am dicing with death to continue to use the computer, 
but I prefer to think of it as a once in a lifetime opportunity.


See you around - metaphorically speaking Wolphin.